How to become a better human being Part 3
I case you missed part 1 and part 2, please be sure you take the time to read those. Part 1 we talked about how to stop making excuses. In part 2 we talked about how to stop complaining. Today we are finishing the series on how to stop being judgmental.
We are all guilty of passing judgment on other people based on how they act, talk, dress, hang out with, what car they drive, how they look etc. Judgement of others, in my opinion, is a reflection of how you think about yourself. For example, if you feel insecure about how your look/dress then you may judge someone who dresses well, looks good as a stuck up snob who only cares about how they look.
So here are some simple tips that should help you become less judgmental.
1. ACCEPT YOURSELF
Passing judgment can be a social-survival strategy (like the example above). We organize our world in categories and connect pieces that don’t necessarily fit together: every fluffy dog wants to cuddle, and every muscular one will bite. This strategy helps us survive in difficult conditions, but produces hurtful prejudice as a side effect.
Take a look inside yourself and try to understand your needs. What is the source of your negative judgment? The sooner you understand and accept yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to recognize and let go of toxic behaviors.
2. PRACTICE LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING
Love is the absence of judgment. - Dalai Lama
Although judgment is a natural instinct, you can put it under control by changing your mindset. Replace scarcity mindset and do everything from a place of love. Treat others with empathy, love and respect, and that’s what you’ll get in return. Judge them, and they will probably judge you back.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
3. AVOID TAKING EVERYTHING PERSONAL
If someone behaves badly around you for no clear reason, it’s probably not about you. Still, don’t judge. Judging will make you bitter and unpleasant. Letting go of things can help you rise above the situation and understand it better.
Do you ever wake up thinking, Oh, what a day! Today I’m going to ruin someone’s day!
I hope not. So try not to get hooked. It’s not about you. Judging won’t bring you any good.
4. CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THE WORLD
One of the best antidotes to judging is observing.
The more you observe the world around you, the less personally you take it.
That’s how psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists stay judgment-free in unpleasant situations: they observe. No one was born judgment-free, it’s all about practice. You can develop observational skills through mindfulness, meditation, and gratitude practice. They make you more self-aware, conscious of other people’s emotions and open you to multiple perspectives.
So to sum up some of the main points from the past 3 weeks:
Complaining, judging, and making excuses is normal—we all do it sometimes.
It can be harmful if we do it excessively due to the enhanced overall negativity that follows these behaviors.
Luckily, there are things you can do to shift your mindset, improve your habits, and change your attitude and mindset that will further help you overcome these toxic behaviors.
Keep in mind that change is not easily achievable. It takes time and practice because change is a process, not a step.